Brokenness

Surely God is working at all times, especially in the darkest moments. When things seem impossible and God seems most distant and far off, he is actually the closest to us. Scripture says, The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18  

But it makes no sense. It's seems contrary. It's paradoxical. It's an upside kingdom. When we are weak, we are strong. When we are poor, we are rich. When we are lowly, we are lifted up. The first shall be last and the last shall be first. And God in his infinite wisdom and sovereignty, he makes a way in the dark and desert. He makes a way where there is no way. In our darkest hour, he is most near to us. Our dependency, desperation, and need for God is what draws and attracts his presence. 

Please make not mistake, God does not delight in our pain and suffering. He does not take joy or pleasure in seeing his children struggle and live in turmoil. I'm sure it breaks his heart, so much so that he makes provisions every way possible to help us. First, He rescued us through his son Jesus. Second, He sent the Holy Spirit to comfort us and help us to live this life on earth. Third, He offers us himself - his presence and he continues to rescue us daily. Finally, one day Jesus is coming back for us and will make all things right for his children. God is not the author of evil or destruction, he only does good but he can and does use all things and cause for the dark, the depression, the destruction to turn for our good and his glory. 

Today, I am incredibly grateful for my Father. He did not have too, but he drew near and showed me kindness and favor in tangible ways this past week because he delights in me and over me. He longs to demonstrate his favor and graciousness towards me. He wants to affirm me because he sees me and my heart. He encourages me that I am on the right path and I am walking in his ways. He is a good father - affirming and encouraging. He validates and gives beyond what I deserve, all for his glory and namesake. He wants me to be strong and confident, in Him. 

Thank you God for the promise and confidence that YOU who begun a good work in me, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Yes, in my brokenness, he is making me brave. In my crushing, he is making me confident. In my suffering, he is making me strong. In the confusion and chaos, he is bringing forth greater clarity. In my frustration, he is fortifying my faith. When I am restless, he is quieting me to rest and rely upon him. In my pain, he is showing me my purpose and passion. He's teaching me patience and perseverance. In my disappointments, he is bringing me into greater dependence upon Him. In my failures, he is building a strong and proper foundation. With mistakes, he is maturing me. In my grieving, he is growing me. 

God, thank you. It's an upside down kinda kingdom because I am of a different kingdom. 

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