Slower Pace

God often uses things in the physical to teach or reinforce a deeper truth or spiritual revelation for application in my life. I am grateful for a Father who knows me and speaks to me directly and in a personal way. I cannot deny that He sees me and He truly knows me. 

I know God has been long pursuing my heart to "slow down and take time." He is teaching me to be, to sit, to receive and to be cared for. While it has taken me probably "longer" than others, I don't feel shame or disappointment because I've learned to define "success" and progress differently. God is not at all disappointed in me, not once ever. Because He sees me. He sees my efforts and pursuit of Him and obedience. He sees me listening, watching and waiting for Him. He knows that I hear him. I am constantly thinking about him and asking for his help to understand how I am to obey and act on the thing I heard him say within the context of my present situation. He is not off put by my struggles or how I wrestle to understand and grasp what He is saying. That is not the same as disregarding God, rejecting God, disobeying God or unbelief in God. It's called being human. But rather, I am convinced He delights in me because "wresting with God is not the same as rebellion." Wresting requires direct contact. You are engaging in close physical proximity and touching. 

God is proud of me first and foremost because He is my Father and I am his daughter. In my processing and working things out with Him, I've never left the relationship. Is that not what Christ came to restore? A relationship with the Father. Secondly, God is proud of  me because he sees my faith in action. I am working out my salvation to the best I understand and know how. Please be sure not to misunderstand what I said. I am not working for my salvation. Salvation is a free gift not dependent on my good works, but receiving and trusting in the perfect work of Jesus Christ who lived a perfect and sinless life in complete surrender and obedience to God the Father. Jesus obeyed and did God's will putting sin to death once and for all when He died on the cross and conquered death when He rose from the grave three days later. There is no other salvation apart from Jesus and what He has already completed. My part is to receive, put my trust in Jesus and live a life in honor and worship to the One who has given me eternal life and daily rescues me. So while we are still on this side of heaven living in this imperfect and corrupted body, everything in life will be a process and journey. So integrating head knowledge with our heart and then transferring it into action and practice takes time. It's a process. But once we catch it, grab hold of it and practice it daily and consistently, it will soon become a habit and then a way of life, a lifestyle. It will stick and divinely become "supernaturally natural."   

So my recent back injury, and thankfully healing back injury in addition to all that's been happening in our world and nation over the last 6 months has really served as a catalyst. Staying true to Romans 8:28, the "stay at home" and "quarantine" has been a nurturing and a supportive incubator and "greenhouse" environment allowing me to have the space and time to implement this new rhythm and pace I've always longed for but for whatever reason, it just always felt a little too far from my reach. I think humility + space/time + grace = results. Not just any kind of results, but lasting fruitful results that not only will benefit my life and those directly close to me, but it may serve as "fruit" for which others may benefit and receive nourishment in the days to come as well. And that is only possible because it is not a fruit, result or producing of my own efforts, but rather by the Spirit of God and Jesus himself producing it in and through me. 

Friend, keep taking one step at a time in the right direction. And wait and see what God will grow. 

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